Lessons from the front lines
As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series this has become very personal topic for me over the past couple of years as I have stepped in as interim pastor at two different churches dealing with a moral failure by the lead pastor. No church thinks they will face this kind of crisis, but sadly many will. I want to share with you the lessons I’m learning on the front lines.
In Part 1 we looked at lessons 1 and 2:
- Make a plan in advance
- Discover the truth
In Part 2 we’ll unpack three more lessons.
Eight guiding principles when a leader has a moral failure
3. Tell the truth
After time spent discovering the truth it is important to tell the truth. The question here is always, “Who should we tell and how much should we share?”
Tell everyone who needs to know (not everyone who wants to know) and tell everything they need to know.
If an administrative assistant is caught skimming a few hundred dollars, the entire congregation doesn’t have a legitimate need to know. If, however, the senior pastor gets caught in an affair the people in the congregation need to know the truth.
Protect innocent parties, and don’t reveal details that don’t help people process the situation, but don’t spin the truth. The more you nuance the circumstances the more you will have to explain and answer later. Eventually the truth will get out, so the best thing to do is tell it all right up front. Rumors and gossip will fly no matter what you do, but if you tell the truth you can continually go back to the original statement and say, “What we said is the truth. No more, no less.”
Telling the truth will be raw, painful and controversial. There will be leaders who insist that it isn’t helpful to put everything out there, that it is important to craft the message. I can tell you from experience they are wrong. As Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” You will also have attenders who don’t understand why it is important to share what happened with the congregation. This is a teaching moment on the responsibilities and consequences of leadership.
4. Accept responsibility
I have a friend who had a staff member arrested at the church offices for having had sex with a minor at a church where he previously worked. My friend knew there had been a previous inappropriate relationship with a young lady, but the staff member had lied about the extent of the relationship and the age of the young lady. Before hiring him my friend checked references, called the pastor at the previous church, asked a counselor to meet with the young man and sought input from several people who also did interviews. After receiving a thumbs up from everyone he went forward with the hire, and then the police showed up.
As he prepared to meet with the congregation to share the story an advisor told him not to accept responsibility for the mess. He said, “You did your due diligence and you brought other leaders into the process. There is no need for you to fall on the sword.” When he stood in front of the congregation he shared everything he knew about the young man’s transgression and the decision making process that went into hiring him, and then he said, “At the end of the day I made a mistake. I should not have hired this man, and the responsibility is mine.” Following the meeting several people thanked him personally and told him how much it meant to them that someone was willing to stand up and take responsibility.
We do not need to take responsibility for another’s sin, but we do need to take responsibility for our part. In every story we have a role, and healing begins when we own up to our own shortcomings.
5. Communicate often and clearly
One of the biggest mistakes churches make after a crisis is fumbling the communication. A lot of thought is put into the first communication with a promise to give regular updates. After that almost every church falls into the trap of not communicating unless they feel like there is something they want to communicate.
What people want is to be treated like adults. Don’t wordsmith every phrase, and don’t hesitate to say, We’re working hard trying to determine next steps, but we don’t have anything new to share.” Set up a schedule and forum for regular, honest communication and stick to it.
One of the most important things in communicating with the staff and congregation is to continue to tell the truth. If more information comes to light, let them know. If you make mistakes along the way, admit it. This is a challenging season for the church and for the leaders, people understand that no one involved is perfect. As I said before, people want to be treated like adults.
Remember, in Abraham Lincoln’s words, you can’t please all the people all the time. There will be people upset with how the situation is handled no matter what you do. Some people will quit the church, some may start petitions, and some will definitely air all of their opinions on Facebook. Trying to play to the crowd or control response is futile. The keys to effective communication in a leadership crisis is candor and consistency.
Next
In the third and final installment on this topic we’ll discuss the final three guidelines your church needs to apply in the event of a moral failure by a key leader. I hope you never have to use these guidelines, but I hope if you do they will help your church and leaders return to health.
Navigating this new chapter in church history will require balancing the tension between what is necessary from the past and what is needed for future. I’ve spent the last several years thinking about and researching this challenge, and share my insights in my new eBook, The Church Will Thrive. You can get your free copy here.
